Sexy Time Requires A Partner

Sexy Time

First, we had the story of David Carradine potentially dying from Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation, and now we have a confirmed story of Wolverine Impersonator dying from the same game of Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation. Trying to masturbate in a way that could involve suicide is fucking stupid, so first of all, don’t do that. Secondly, if anyone is going to play sexual games that could involve injury: They should have a partner who will either save their life, prevent them from dying in the first place, or someone fully capable of dialing 9-1-1.

Before I go further with why you should have a sexual partner and not delve into sick forms of Masturbation, I would like to quickly discuss Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation. Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation, for those who don’t understand Latin, is when a person chokes, gags, wraps, or finds creative ways to cut of their air supply as a means to gain sexual pleasure, and can be coupled with sexual stimulation or masturbation. Wikipedia simply states it as: “Erotic asphyxiation or breath control play is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal.” Examples of this include David Carradine hanging himself while cranking it in a closet, or this Wolverine guy who wrapped himself in saran wrap and nylon and asphyxiated himself to death while trying to gain sexual pleasure. Supposedly, Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation is super stimulating and make the orgasm more pleasurable, but at the same time, you might die. Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation in it’s pleasure-versus-death tango is basically considered the heroin of masturbation. For those unaware, heroin is bad for you.

Sexual partners are a very important thing to have, given you’re responsible enough to have sexual relations, and they help in two ways: One, we don’t have to wallow in pitiful amounts of masturbation, and Two: we can do so many more creative and strange things that we really just can’t do alone. Certainly, there are reasons to understand why being alone can create heightened senses of fear and pleasure while performing self-bondage, auto-erotic asphyxiation, etc, but those are fucking lame the instant we come across the glorious landscape of a sexual partner. I have my whole life to deal with my body, but I only have a short time (by comparison) to share my time with a sexual partner and their body is a fucking wonderland. (Thanks John Mayer).

I can tell you, with extreme confidence, that the worst blowjob I have ever received was still better than the best time I’ve masturbated. Masturbation, regardless of how good it feels or how many videos I’ve had to siphon through before I was aroused enough to decide to finish myself, always comes (ha) with a very, very large amount of self loathing and shame. Sex or stimulation with a partner, especially one who likes you, is very fulfilling and wholesome. With a partner who doesn’t like you, or will only pretend to through forms of payment, are mostly just fulfilling, not so much wholesome.

More important than what sort of shame or mental feelings we could or could not be feeling, it’s the amount of physical pleasure we could be obtaining. If we’re being sexual, whether through masturbation or with a partner, chances are it’s for physical pleasure more than anything. The mental side effects are exactly that: side effects. Therefore, shouldn’t we have the best physical pleasure possible? If masturbation is a sin and sex without marriage is a sin, but we do one, the other, or both… Shouldn’t we just go with the best option? That’s the main reason we need a sexual partner, the physical pleasure. The kinky shit just comes second.

The kinky shit can be an absolute blast though. I can’t even start to delve into all the crazy things I’ve tried, seen, experimented, read, wondered and discovered, because it’s all too weird, fun, disgusting and strange, but you will certainly understand when I say that fisting is only a scratch on the surface. It’s strange to me that I’m comfortable with discussing the pleasures of fisting, but there are several things I simply just won’t even bring up because it is so crazy and I’m uncomfortable with sharing except with my partner. Oh right, that’s another great thing about having a partner, because if you can only talk to yourself about masturbation, you’d explode (literally?), but with a partner, all that craziness doesn’t have to be bottled up, it can be shared!

So go on! Find a friend, get a significant other, bang a hooker, but at all costs, find yourself a partner!


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