Dear Ma’am,

While I was sitting on the train minding my own business, listening to my mp3 player that was maybe set a little too loud, I started to feel a cough coming. It was one of those coughs that I tried to swallow and suppress, but that failed miserably when I made that puke-face style of a cough that involved me hacking up a lung and potentially spitting some of my saliva in the direction of the weird looking kids across from me. You tapped my arm and just as I pulled my earphone out you gave me a sound piece of advice, “You should stop smoking.” Rather than sit there and take the advice, I decided instead that the one glass of beer I had was enough for me to go off on a tangent:

“Oh thank you! I noticed that you’re judging me based on the fact I smell like cigarettes and I coughed. Now that I’m reacting to this in a semi-negative tone, you must now be judging me and assuming that I’m a schizophrenic drug addict with a missing left testicle, which is mostly true, but the fact of the matter is you don’t know a thing about me, so allow me to tell you:

My name is Joe Renken and I’m 24 years old. I was born, raised and live in Quincy. I am against drugs and smoking, but on rare occasions, I will join my friends for dinner and will have an after dinner smoke. Tonight was one of these occasions. Now I’m not about to tell you how to live you life or what you should do, but I must say that if you assume I’m a smoker and go so far as to say I should quit smoking based only on a scent and a cough, I must say that in rebuttal, based on everything I know about you, I must assume you’re a nosy bitch who can’t keep to herself and must give her two cents about everything.

Truth of the matter is I’m no different from you. I’m a writer and there’s a good chance I’m going to go home and write in detail about this exchange in the hopes my friends will either get a chuckle out of this or tell me I’m a terrible human being for being rude. Regardless, the rest of this conversation lies in your hands and whether or not you’d like to make yourself more known across the internet.”

It’s at this exact point that I sat there waiting for a response and didn’t get one, so I placed my headphone back in my ear and I enjoyed the rest of my train ride without a hitch. I hope that more of my train rides go without a hitch, but the funniest thing happened after you left the train. Some guy waltzed on the train just one stop after yours, and he had a bit of an aroma. He chose to sit next to me, in the exact seat you were sitting in, and for some reason I couldn’t help myself but tap him on the arm and comment to him about his aroma, “Did you shit yourself?”

Apparently, asking someone if they shit their pants is heavily offensive and ends with the person screaming in your ear about how terrible they are. I don’t exactly see how I was in the wrong, because this dude honestly smelled like he wiped his ass with his hand, but I chose not to give him a rebuttal because I feared that he may have attacked me, and at worst with his scat infested hands.

I guess what I’m trying to say to you is that I’m worry we both suck as human beings and that maybe it’d be best if we both just shut up and mind our own business from now. Either that, or I should probably stop smoking.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

The quotes-on-pictures that are even fucking worse than the above picture are the ones where it is literally just a quote saved as an image. There’s no cute background picture or anything to enforce the quote, it’s literally just a few words that take up an entire fucking screen. Like this:

It’s not that I entirely hate the ever living shit out of the people that do this, I just want to point out to them how fucking annoying it is to post goddamn quotes on images. Fuck that, posting quotes in general is fucking annoying, because it tells me that these people can’t come up with anything original, so they rely on milking the things someone else wrote in a pathetic attempt to take the credit for it by saying “I shared it!” No, I don’t give a shit what you shared, because it’s not yours and it’s not something you did, you stole an image, then you posted a stolen quote on the stolen image, congratulations, fuck yourself.

 This slightly differs from people who caption photos, because those can be funny, example:

Captioning photos is fine as long as it’s not those shitty “Some Ecards” that are a fucking atrocity.You know, these:

That Ecard was created by Meff, because Meff hates Ecards as much as I do. Also, just to piss you all off and to further prove how fucking annoying it is to post quotes on images, here’s this entire blog I wrote on an image I took (slightly edited):

Click To View Full Size

Stop making quotes as images, stop sharing quotes as images, and learn how to use a fucking keyboard and not a mouse. Copy, Paste, and Share is fucking stupid, stop it.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

The Avengers:

The Avengers was a super-packed action flick including the greatest superheroes Marvel has to offer, except Marvel’s greatest superhero: Spider Man.

Because of the lack of Spiderman, that meant Marvel had to bring back The Hulk, who unfortunately wasn’t Hulk Hogan, and that also meant extra screen time for Robert Downey Jr. “Iron Man” being a pompous douchebag. Thor fucking hates the idea of Iron Man taking up all the screen and constantly beats the shit out of Iron Man. Captain America wasn’t too pleased about Iron Man and Thor being jerks, or Hulk breaking everything, so he decided to say “Let’s all team together and fight crime!” No one listened to Captain America because he’s too much of a pretty boy, so they continued to break shit until bad dudes nearly destroyed the Earth. After realizing that Iron Man couldn’t survive in outer space, Thor decided to beat up some bad dudes destroying Earth solely so he could get back to killing Iron Man, Iron Man wanted to one up him and beat up more bad dudes, Captain America claimed that this was his idea all along, and HULK SMASH. Also, they added some superhero you’ve never heard of and put a chick in a tight PVC suit. Somewhere, Spiderman is still crying. 5/10.

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games is a great and original movie based on other great and original movies which Hunger Games stole from.

The Lottery was a story about one person being chosen for death for the benefit of their people. Battle Royale was a Japanese film about a bunch of students being thrown on an island, who would then have to slowly kill each other off one by one until only one remained. Harry Potter was a movie about young kids banding together to defeat evil. Twilight created the “young empowering female character,” but that’s an abortion of the term. Game Of Thrones features everyone dying as soon as we like them. All of these were slammed into “The Hunger Games” and the result was a movie which didn’t know itself. Nothing in this movie was considered overly original, even the concept of districts fighting over food isn’t even original, hello North Korea! This movie didn’t suck, but it wasn’t original, and it’s pretty much a damn shame that people loved it as much as they did. Hunger Games : Dystopian society :: Lady Gaga : Madonna, it’s been done before, and better. 6/10.

Cabin In The Woods

Cabin In The Woods is the scariest movie in the world, because inner city kids have never been to the woods and the idea of candlelight is fucking terrifying.

I didn’t see this movie, read a review, or hear a damn thing about it, except I heard it was fucking terrifying. OooooOoooo! A Horror movie based about kids in a cabin in the woods? SOUNDS FUCKING ORIGINAL. I can only assume that this is another shoddily put together movie about how woods are fucking scary, except this movie means nothing to me, because my family has had a second house, a cottage in the woods, since before I was born. Having lived in the woods for at least, you know, more than four fucking minutes, I can tell you all the woods have to offer is peace and serenity and an extreme lack of crazy fucking things trying to kill you. That’s great, I understand inner city kids find the woods terrifying, but another fucking movie about bad shit happening in the woods? You have to be kidding me, old meme is old, don’t bother. 1/10.

John Carter

Greatest Movie of all time! Kids and Parents agree this movie was fantastical and amazing!

I don’t understand how people liked The Avengers, or Hunger Games, or Cabin In The Woods, those movies were terrible. John Carter, now that’s a great movie! John Carter of Mars is an original Science Fiction story which became popular way back in 1912, and John Carter is the 100th year anniversary movie edition of the original story. A man from Earth becomes a superhero on Mars because of less gravity, it’s such a cool concept! The best part of the movie is that they didn’t overload it with a bunch of actors we love to trick us out to see the movie, they brought in a bunch of new and lesser known actors so that we could pay closer attention to the movie’s plot, details, and the great action scenes. This is a huge change from listening to Robert Downey Jr. being a douche for 2 hours and twenty minutes. This movie was absolutely incredible and definitely in the top running for movie of the year! 10/10.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

If you actively oppose people being gay, because it is moralistically wrong, you suffer from homophobia, or you think a priest can suck a choir boy’s cock, but your neighbors can’t be happily be married, I think you’re a goddamn fool and a fucking moron. You live in the United States of America, you believe in the constitution, and you’re of some religious moral standing, but for some reason, you can’t let your fellow American, your fellow friend be happy. If you honestly go out of the way to oppose two people from being able to say that they legally love each other under the colors of this fine country, then get the fuck out of this country.

Being gay isn’t about two guys sucking each other’s dicks, being gay isn’t a woman cutting her hair short and becoming a feminist, being gay is about being yourself and being a loving human being. “Being yourself and being a loving human being,” yes, I’m quoting myself here: What the fuck is so different about being gay in this aspect than being straight? Are you going to explain to me that gays are not humans, because that’ll be as scientifically accurate as your already shit-tastic views that being gay makes you a terrible human being. Being gay is being human, being straight is being human, and being human, get this, is being human. Holy shit, right?

Most of this anti-gay opposition is coming from conservatives, the south, and the right. Let’s take a look at their recent track record: Women can’t have rights, immigrants can’t have rights, gays can’t have rights, and Rush Limbaugh. What is so different about their economic views than third world countries and Iran? In most third world countries, women have extensively less rights, gays are murdered, and immigrants are thrown out of villages. We’re talking about the United States here, the strongest country, the most equal country, the most patriotic country, but the conservatives make us sound like a terrible third world shit infested orgy of hatred and bigots.

On the other hand we have the liberals and the left, and all they want is equal marriage rights for everyone, equal rights for everyone, equal healthcare for everyone, and equal healthcare for everyone. HEAVEN FOR FUCKING BID THIS GOES ON! Are you fucking serious? You honestly think that people don’t deserve equal treatment? In the country whose Declaration of Independence states “All men are created equal,” and yet you actively oppose equal rights? Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.

Go fuck yourself. Good riddance and go live in a motherfucking third world country. I’m sure your entire fucking family will enjoy it there, because they have the same fucking rights and beliefs that you hold. I can’t wait for you to write your goddamn letters to me about how fucking happy you are living in a third world country because of how fucking perfect everything in that fucking third world country is going. Live in that country that supports the rights you believe for a fucking week, then get back to me on how fucking beautiful it is living in a goddamn dictatorship with no rights. Here’s how you’ll like that: You fucking won’t. If you don’t want to live in a third world country, don’t bring third world country beliefs here.

Gay marriage is human, and we are all human.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

Image Source: http://cheezburger.com/177531827

I prefer to use the term “cunt” in this post because it is universally understood as THE WORST WORD you can call anyone, at least with the English language.  Geico, that car insurance company with the lizard thing, assumes you are a retarded fucking cunt and that you will believe any retarded thing posted on a fucking commercial. Watch this commercial and then watch me tear it to fucking shreds:

OH MY DEAR FUCKING GOD. YOU’RE MOTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME, RIGHT? Geico honestly believes that we’re going to judge how good a car insurance company is based on some bullshit mall food court taste test? Geico: “Did you know that you can judge car insurance on taste, and that we taste fucking good? Yeah, your baby can taste how fucking good we are!” This commercial is about as accurate as any statement the Koch Brothers make. There is no merit to this goddamn commercial. Shit, if I pour a glass of Mountain Dew in one cup and label it ‘Joe Renken Has A Blog’, then pour a glass of Battery Acid in another cup and label it ‘Every Other Shitty Blog’, of course you’re going to pick the Mountain Dew, but do you honestly fucking think that means the content of the blog’s being judged? NO, IT FUCKING MEANS YOU DON’T LIKE THE BURNING SENSATION OF BATTERY ACID IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.

I can picture some dumb fucking asshole seeing that commercial and going up to one of their friends and telling them, “Didn’t you see that Geico commercial where the bitch spit out the competitor’s juice? That must mean they suck and I’m thinking of switching to Geico.” Their friend’s brain would melt from the sheer retardedness, they’d proceed to gouge their eyes out, then they’d fuck their own mother like Oedipus, because that’s a better future than listening to their friend be a goddamn moron or watching that stupid fucking Geico commercial one more time.

Some Geico commercials are funny and witty, especially the original “Caveman” commercials, including the “Mango Salsa” commercial. This commercial is not witty or funny, it’s a pathetic attempt to play the bait and switch card and it’s also heavily pointing out the fact you’re a stupid cunt who needs to decide their car insurance based on drink flavor.

Fuck that shit.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

The play starts with our learning of an incoming asteroid on a crash course to Earth known as “Palehorse.” Taken quite literally, this is a social question that has fascinated me since I first heard of the concept on a Discovery Channel special years ago: If you were a scientist and found an asteroid on a crash course that would inevitably destroy the Earth, would you tell the general public? If I were that scientist, I would not tell the public. Although it would be a justice to humanity to warn them of impending doom, I don’t think it would do us good, because I’m convinced we’d all kill each other than try to save humanity. However, like I said, that’s taking the “asteroid” literally.

Palehorse, the “asteroid,” is a metaphor for the impending doom on the political world, because of our government’s misappropriation of scientific discoveries, secretive weapon expansion, and general deceit. When the general public, the majority, the 99%, grows a distaste from what the government and special interests groups, the minority, the 1% makes for us: we stand up, we speak out and we fight back. Anonymous, Occupy, Palehorse. Our rockets designed to fly us to the moon were taken and hollowed out to fire nukes across the globe. We had the H1N1 outbreak. The government promised we’d be fine. In 28 Seeds, the “Peace Ray” designed to destroy the Palehorse asteroid was misappropriated and used to wipe out half of the southern hemisphere. The H.Pig flu caused us to bleed out through our eyes. We’re told we’ll be fine. Really what 28 Seeds is telling us is that there has been an answer to all the political problems all along: listen to your citizens. The government’s failure to listen allowed Palehorse, Anonymous, Occupy to come closer, grow larger, and inevitably strike.

But let’s not think that this play is pessimistic view on society and it’s a sad tale of our lives, because that’s a very, very wrong and unfair view on the play. In reality, this play is hilarious. The general of the US Army is a wild sex fiend, Hannah Monenegro is an over the top enthusiastic (and very horny) morning talk show host, Madame President is an insane Red Queen, Jojo reads panty poems, science is all around, music fills the air, FUCK CANADA AND WILL SOMEONE GET ME A SCIENTIST TO FLIP THAT FUCKING SWITCH. 28 Seeds has the perfect amount of laughter, scantily clad performers, music and a futuristic dystopia.

Check out the sneaky video I took and all the photos, and use the discount code “ERB” to get 50% off your tickets at armyoftoys.com to the last three shows of 28 Seeds this Thursday 5/10, Friday 5/11, and Saturday 5/12.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

The point of this fun little experiment is partially that I want to eat something different every meal, because I’m looking to break the mold of eating the same food everyday, but also there’s a hint that I want to see if this is even possible. I’m a very busy person, and my schedule (and funding) doesn’t exactly allow me to go out three times a day every day. I’m going to see if this can be done and if it can be a realistic achievement and not some pretentious bit of Rachael Ray douchebaggery.

There’s two things to learn here: All sorts of new food and all sorts of brain control. I’m going to experience a variety of new things, and I’ll be crying from my lack of Mountain Dew. Wish me luck and send me some food ideas! You can follow my progress on http://365.joerenken.com.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

I read this post on Jezebel “A Complete Guide To Hipster Racism,” and then promptly decided I hate living and I should hang myself in a closet with barbed wire. “Hipster Racism” is a sad attempt at saying that there are various things we do or say during the day that, even though they’re light-hearted, they’re still incredibly racist. Examples of “Hipster Racism” include white girls using the Twitter hashtag #ThugLife, calling IHOP “ghetto,” saying “It sucks to be white,” and wearing Navajo patterned panties.

“Hipster Racism” isn’t a term used to define people who may be closet racists like the author of that post is trying to claim, “Hipster Racism” is an excuse for someone to call someone else a racist. It’s a pathetic ploy to try to make everything seem like it’s racist and is comparable to the stupidity surrounding the people who thought “Jeremy Lin is The Knicks Good Fortune (Cookie)” was racist. The main argument was “That’s racist, fortune cookies weren’t even invented in China,” but they all seem to ignore the fact Jeremy Lin was born in L.A. The Jeremy Lin-Fortune Cookie poster was not racist, the guy who yelled, “Sweet And Sour Pork,” to Jeremy Lin was racist. The Lin poster is what the Jezebel post wants to call “Hipster Racism,” but is what we commonly refer to as a “Stereotype.”

Do you know what my favorite Stereotype is? Sony.

Stereotypes are popular beliefs about specific people, how those beliefs are interpreted determine whether it’s positive or negative. Racism on the other hand, “is generally understood as either belief that different racial groups are characterized by intrinsic characteristics or abilities and that some such groups are therefore naturally superior to others or as practices that discriminate against members of particular racial groups, for example by perpetuating unequal access to resources between groups.” -Wikipedia. Yes, I quote Wikipedia. To put these into my terms, Stereotypes are what I consider having fun with race, and Racism is what I consider deliberate physical or verbal harm based on race. If I say “My Cuban girlfriend is smoking hot like her cigars,” that’s a stereotype, a fact, and generally not viewed as racist. If I said something that was deliberately harmful based on her race, like “My girlfriend is being a tequila shooting Communist bitch,” that is most definitely racist and is widely recognized as racist. For those who say “I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally,” there’s a good chance you’re just really, really racist.

If we go out to see comedians who talks about race, we’re going out with the positive intentions about stereotypes. We’ll hear plenty of Black jokes, Latino jokes, Asian jokes, Middle Eastern jokes, White jokes, etc., and we’ll all laugh about each and every one of the jokes. It’s lighthearted and humorous and we’re okay with that. Conversely, if we hear the same jokes being said by two angry old men at a bus station, we’ll have a negative reaction to the stereotypes and assume that the two men are racist. If Jeremy Lin made the fortune cookie poster, we would have laughed, but because it was made by someone (who I assume isn’t Asian), it’s considered terrible and racist.

There are people that I’ve met who hate everyone that isn’t white, and I mean legitimately hate everyone that isn’t white. However, they don’t discriminate, nor do they say offensive things towards these people to harm them. Honestly, I don’t consider these people racist, I just consider them picky. Some people don’t like broccoli, others don’t like people of different races, but as long as they don’t deliberately go out of their way to talk about their hatred of vegetables or other races in harmful ways, I can’t exactly call them racist.

Racism is in the eye of the beholder and it’s all based on perception. Some things are generally viewed as racist, such as when Don Imus called the Rutger’s basketball team, “A bunch of Nappy headed hoes,” but if you’re trying to say a girl wearing Navajo patterned panties is racist, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of trademark infringement. “Hipster Racism” is a sad and terrible way of trying to call out people for being racist, but all it’s doing is allowing people to find new ways to call things racist and it’s allowing racism to grow. If white girls want to use the term “thug life,” who cares? Just call them ignorant biddies and move on. There are better things to do in life than nit-pick every tiny detail about what every single person in the world says. If people are discriminating or being hateful, that’s one thing, but don’t trod on every minor detail, because it’ll make you look bad, not them.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

Dear Doctor,

I would like to give you my direct comments about how I feel you did in diagnosing my broken nose last week. Firstly, I would like to commend you for going through medical school and taking all that time it did in order to be a doctor. I can only assume that medical school must have been incredibly difficult. Secondly, I appreciate that you decided to work in a community health center to help as many patients as possible, instead of becoming a specialist doctor that milks money from health insurance companies. Thirdly, the speed in which you diagnosed my problem was very fast and that’s great for my busy schedule. Lastly, I understand that you’re a new doctor to the community health center, so I’d like to give you a short bit of feedback about the service you provided me.

In case you’ve forgotten who I am, I am a patient that came to visit you about my broken nose. Now, I assume that I have a broken nose based of what I can physically feel and what I’ve read on WebMD. I can assum you know of WebMD and that it will say something like, “your symptoms include the side effects from a cold, the flu, or AIDS.” I was afraid that I could have extensive damage done to my nose based on the paranoia that WebMD induced me with: Either I have mild swelling which is blocking one of my nasal passages, or it’s from a deviated septum, or worse, brain damage. I felt that the best idea would be to get a professional opinion from a doctor.

I walked into the community health center and was brought into room 3. I relayed my story to the nurse and she entered it into the community health center’s database, where I assume you uploaded it to your office computer so that you’d be briefed on why I was there before you entered the room. Perhaps you could have brushed up on what to do or how to diagnose a broken nose, but apparently, you’d prefer to have passed that on to the next doctor, as when you stepped into room 3 to greet me, you told me, before even looking at my nose, “You need to see a plastic surgeon, we don’t do anything for broken noses here.” Normally, and this may sound strange to you, but most doctors, and specifically real doctors, check their patient out before they diagnose the issue, not just trust their patients to be right and go from there.

I’m very thankful that I’m smart and could tell that you were nothing more than a small waste of money and a giant waste of my time, regardless of how quickly I was in and out of the community health center, so I did what I should have done in the first place: I went to see a real doctor. After telling him the same story I told you, he looked in my nose, checked everything out with great detail and then told me, “The swelling will go down over the next few weeks, but your nose looks fine. I’m sorry that happened.” Luckily, and I cannot stress enough about how lucky you are in this case, I did not tell this doctor that I had seen you and your diagnosis was that I should see a plastic surgeon. Based on his level of skill and how easy he made it look to diagnose a broken nose and his knowledge to tell me the simple treatment in my case was just to ice my nose and it will heal itself, I’d assume that if I told him you thought I needed to see a plastic surgeon, this doctor would have personally hunted you down and pummeled you to death.

I firmly believe this is because a broken nose should be at the top of the list of things a community health center doctor should know. Diabetes, the common cold, and broken bones are the three most popular things in the community here, so knowing how to diagnose and treat them are key. I’m not sure if you missed “broken nose week” during medical school, but based on the ease in which it was diagnosed by a real doctor, I’d have to assume that either A) you missed “broken nose week,” or B) you’re actually a very shitty doctor and you work at a community health center because no real medical facility will accept you to work for them.

To be truthful, if you told every patient that had a broken nose that they’d need to see a plastic surgeon, I’m certain you’d be allowing yourself to become a complete mockery in the medical field. The plastic surgeon would have to call you up at some point and say, “Thanks for all the patients you’re sending me, but seriously, do you not know shit about broken noses? Half these kids just need a bag of ice, not a complete rhinoplasty.”

That’s why I’m writing you this letter to save you before you become a complete mockery to the medical world. First and most importantly, please check your patients before you tell them to “see a plastic surgeon” when all that’s really needed is a bag of ice. Secondly, I would put it in your best intentions to learn how to properly diagnose a broken nose, seeing as that would be a common reason for the younger patients to be coming in to the health center. Lastly, and this may be a kick to your ego’s balls, but if you don’t know how to treat or diagnose a broken nose, please, do not take that patient. There are several other doctors that work in the community health center who may be able to be more helpful with broken noses than you.

Thank you and take care.

Love,
Joe

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken

All Oliver Twist wanted in that factory lunchroom was “some more.” Some more of what though? More of that slop? Disgusting! I forget who I heard it from, but I know it came from a famous person in my Science Fiction class. They said something along the lines of, “When did we accept having the same cup of coffee every morning and eating the same food every week?” Something dangerous occurred after this: I started thinking. Why do we drink the same drink everyday? Why do we eat the same food every week? Well, I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not gonna take it anymore! Or at least for one month.

Introducing you to my newest life project: Eat Something Different Every Meal For A Month! I’m going to start this project on May 1st, and pray I can last the whole month. Here’s the plan: I’ll eat (and as a kicker, drink) something different every meal for a whole month, and I won’t duplicate it. The only exception, which should be a given, is water. That means if on the morning of May 1st I have a chocolate donut (doughnut?) and a Mountain Dew for breakfast: I can’t have another chocolate donut or Mountain Dew for the rest of the month. This routine will continue all month, or until I die. It’s very simple!

The loophole is, by technicality, that I can have Mountain Dew one day and Mountain Dew Voltage another. That’s like having a chocolate donut one day and a jelly donut another, because even if I keep trying a new one, eventually I will run out of donut and Mountain Dew options. For obvious reasons I’m going to try to avoid this, because the point of my “Eat Something Different Every Meal For A Month” project is to keep having something new all the time. This is not to try something new every day, it’s to have something different all month, which will take many new interesting turns. If I took individual ingredients out of the mixture, then my project would look like this:

“Day 1: Something I ate had High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) in it today. Day 2: Everything has HFCS in it, so I’m drinking water all day. Day 4: This malnutrition really sucks. Day 6: I’m dead. Day 7: No seriously guys, Joe’s dead. I’m just a friend finishing his journal.”

The point of this challenge, like most of the things I do in life, it to avoid massive amounts of rules and allow it to be self policed. That’s why Soccer is much more popular than Football: The more rules, the more headaches. The more headaches, the lack of interest.

May 1st is the start of “Eat SOmething Different Every Meal For A Month”and I’ll have a Moleskin on me at all times recording everything I’ve eaten and drank to be sure I will not duplicate. This is going to be a ton of fun and I’ll let you know how well I do before I suggest if you should try it. Personally, my realisticness has me crying by day 10 and killing myself by day 20. We shall see!

Love,
Joe

P.S. Chocolate soft serve ice cream, chocolate frappes, chocolate shakes, chocolate malts, and chocolate hard ice cream are all the same thing. No cheating!

Have a question? Email: joe@joerenken.com or message Joe on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Renken